written by her mother
Felicity was a miracle baby I believe. Jozsef and I had two miscarriages in 2002. The first one was on January 1st and the second one was on April 19th. They found out on the second miscarriage that I was losing the babies from my progesterone being low. When I found out I was pregnant with Felicity, I had it checked again right away. It was low again, so I was put on prometrium. I had to take it until I was about 12 weeks pregnant. I had 2 or 3 ultrasounds during my pregnancy. The first one, they thought that she wasn't there, but they later found out she was.
She was a very active while I was pregnant. She always got the hiccups after I would eat. I remember that great feeling. I went through my pregnancy and worked until a week before I had her. She was a scheduled c-section.
On May 22, 2003, at 9:30am, she was born. She was a beautiful baby. She had a head full of black hair and the most beautiful eyes. She was perfect. She was a happy baby. She loved to listen to music, eating, her bath time, and just being held and loved by her family. She got the hiccups every time she would burp, just like she would when I was pregnant with her after I had eaten. She was very alert. She always wanted to see what was going on. She loved to watch her brother and sister play and loved to watch the cat. She hated to be left out of anything. She made our family complete.
On June 25, 2003, I had a doctor appointment at 10:00am. She was in her swing sleeping and her daddy, brother, and sister were having breakfast. I gave them all a kiss and went on my way. I returned back home at about 10:45. My husband was acting very strange. He asked me to go get him some beer and cigarettes. I asked him where the kids where. He said the older two were outside playing and Felicity was downstairs with him. I said ok, and I left to go get what he wanted.
When I returned, he hollered from downstairs that he was down there and to come on down. I went downstairs. He came walking out of the bedroom holding our hunting rifle. I started going crazy. I asked him where the baby was. Things just weren't right. I was looking all over for her, and I couldn't find her anywhere. I asked him if he had killed the baby, and he said yes he had. He tried to hand me a note, which I just sat down. I was freaking out. I wanted my baby.
I ran upstairs and looked again for her up there. I then went back downstairs to ask where she was. He said he put her in the dumpster outside. I ran back upstairs and outside. On the way, I told the other two children to get into the van. I got to the dumpster, and opened it up. There in the bottom was my precious baby girl in a plastic bag. She was the only thing in there, so I pretty much had to jump in to get her out. I ran inside, laid her on the bed, and ripped the bag open. My precious baby girl was gone.
I ran back downstairs. My husband told me to leave or he would shoot me. I had to ask a few questions first though. I asked him WHY? He said he didn't know. He said he fell with her. I told him she was our miracle and he said he knew. I then left the house with my other two children. We went to my mothers work place. I told her what happened, and she called the police.
They showed up at about 11:00am, and they were there until 5:00pm that evening. At that time, they went in the house to find Felicity on the bed where I had left her and Jozsef in the downstairs bathroom. He shot himself below the chin. My world fell to pieces that day.
He was such a proud and protective daddy. I believe he had a mental illness. I wish we had known before this happened. They were both sent for autopsies. They determined that Felicity had severe head trauma, broken ribs, and internal organ damage from trauma beating. On June 30, I laid my baby girl to rest. She is buried not far from her grandpa, my daddy. I bought 7 more plots right next to hers so I can be sure I will be buried next to her.
Without GOD, I don't know how I would have handled this. I have become a lot closer to him since this all happened. He is my strength. I know she is in Heaven, and that is a great place to be. She is in the loving arms of JESUS!! She is the lucky one, while we are down here hurting and missing her everyday. Sure, I want her here with me, but it does help to know she will never know any kind of pain or hate or anything bad. I only had her for 5 short weeks, but they were some of the most special in my life. I will forever have her in my heart. I miss her so much, and the day I see her again, it will be a great reunion. What a day that will be!!!!
Written in memory of:
Felicity Hannah Siraki
I love you Mommy
As I look down from heaven on you tonight,
I see you are sad, and things just aren't right
I know you want me there,
but when god called me, I came straight here
I am in his loving arms both day and night,
even though you can't see me, I am doing allright
I have met many new friends and we have so much fun
we are in the light and walking with the son
Now don't cry mommy, I love you so
we will be together someday, this I want you to know
When your day should come,
I will be at the gate to say welcome home
Until that day, always remember I Love you so
I hope in your heart this you will always know
I now must go, but I want you to know
that you will always be my mommy
and I love you so.
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